Movie: You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger

Woody Allen flicks don’t stay around long and that’s if they make mainstream cinema.

You can guess the story, lots of couples, all having problems, all fancying each other, some having or contemplating affairs. He just makes films about his own life doesn’t he?

The only thing that changes is the setting; this time it’s in London and around art.

The wife (Naomi Watts) is desperate to start a family but is already reliant on her mother paying her rent. He husband is a writer struggling to write that difficult second book (that’s why I’m going to write my second before the first one is published, ha-ha!). The husband (Josh Brolin) brings in the first straying eye (cliché alert)) and is checking out the exotic young thing opposite who always wears red. You watch it, she always wears red. (On a side note, red is my favourite colour but I love green and lots of other colours too. I go out of my way not to wear red two days running but it would be a lot easier to get dressed if there was only one colour to choose from, I imagine).

The wife meanwhile has a crush on her new boss gallery owner (Antonio Banderas) who offers her a job despite (cliché alert) her not answering his questions. He is (cliché alert) having problems at home and takes her to choose his wife’s anniversary present, 50,000 diamonds or £10,000 pearls and yet drives around in a £30K Audi TT.

Finally, her divorced Dad (Anthony Hopkins) (cliché alert) is about to marry someone younger than her (cliché alert), a bleached blonde prostitute no less. Add the dotty Mum who believes every thing she hears from the medium (Pauline Collins) and there’s a Woody Allen film.

You get the picture.

I love how the credits all roll right at the start, not over the film’s opening sequence. For a while on this one I couldn’t work out when it was set as he opens with twenties flapper music and a narrator but it’s set in present time (I think). I do like the way Woody Allen makes films and so will keep watching.

7½/10

Cliché factor 10/10



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