Men Are Studs, Women are…

Cougar, the latest media tag for older successful ladies dating and indulging much younger men has got me thinking about the differences in labels bestowed on men and women.

Stud; dictionary definition: stud horse, stallion, for the purpose of breeding
Slut; a dirty, slovenly woman, an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute

I rest my case right here; ‘stud’ sounds positive, unambiguous and smacks of glamour, wealth, popularity and generally something out of a Jilly Cooper novel. ‘Slut’ is clearly derogatory, sounds negative and not at all glamorous. Men who bed hop are treated by their fellow men as heroes and women are regarded as virtually prostitutes and if they are gold diggers, then they pretty much are. Even women are generally more forgiving of men who sleep around. Is it because they don’t carry the risk of pregnancy or because it’s just plain un-ladylike behaviour?

Rich; having possessions, wealthy, of value, moneyed.
Cougar; large powerful wild cat.

Let me tell you a story; the classic tale of a young woman on the rise who meets a millionaire, millionaire marries woman, ‘what first attracted you to your millionaire husband?, woman gets tired of roving eye and/or hands and waking up next to a greying, overweight whale and seeks divorce, has huge settlement, man marries a younger, thinner version of woman and woman who is now upgraded to millionaire status marries a billionaire. Everyone lives happily ever after although it sounds like a demanding day job to me.

Cougar, the name given to the older and wealthier woman who goes out with the younger man on the rise paints the picture of a predator on the prowl. The similarity with the older male scenario is that the relationship is not expected to last forever. The difference, however, is that neither party are expecting it to lead to marriage anyway. It’s a short-term pick-me-up and the woman gets what she wants, albeit at a literal cost. The old Mrs Robinson label is kinder and there was no money involved, just the attraction and compatibility of a woman in her prime with a man who can keep up. I can’t imagine not loving and wanting sex no matter my age so how do I find a man to keep up unless I go ten or so years younger? If so there is the whole lack of intelligence/world wisdom issue to deal with.

Gigolo; A man who is hired as an escort or a dancing partner for a woman, A man who has a continuing sexual relationship with and receives financial support from a woman.
Doesn’t it sound glamorous? Choosing the ladies he ‘escorts’, going to fancy parties with beautiful women, having sex and getting paid for it, handsomely.
Hooker a person or thing that hooks, prostitute, an old worn-out or clumsy ship
Doesn’t it sound glamorous? Street corners, violence, drugs and desperately having sex with any Tom, Dick or Harry because she has to pay the rent or for the drug habit. Adding ‘high class’ in front of ‘hooker’ doesn’t make it any less cheap.

Bachelor; happily single unmarried man, a male animal that does not mate during the breeding season, youthful knight, a degree.
Spinster; a woman still single, unmarried beyond the usual age of marrying
My favourite. Are there any songs about ‘Bachelor Girls’ or do we have bachelorette pads? Enough said.
Technically I’m a divorcee and I’ve insisted on calling my apartment a bachelor pad for some time but I feel I’m alone in that. Even degrees are called ‘bachelor’. ‘Still single’ implies you are waiting for that status to change, which is absolutely fine if you are. A bachelor is usually quoted to imply that the man has escaped the clutches of a soul sapping woman. Well if that’s how the bachelor views a loving, warm and fun relationship; no wonder he’s STILL single!

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