Social Meltdown in New York

(Serial dating)

For a city where everyone, I mean everyone seems to be obsessed with dating, why are there still so many single people?  Why have they not found each other yet?

According to Forbes, New York is the 8th best city in the US to live if you are single although they admit it is the most expensive, a fact I can vouch for. San Francisco is 2nd and Washington 5th but I’m guessing there are more singles in those places for differing reasons. Dallas being 3rd is an interesting proposition.

I’ve heard rumours about married people in New York but I have not met any. I’m pretty sure I have seen some.

Most of the single people I have met have mentioned married friends but they have not introduced me to them. In the 3 months I have been in New York, I have met just one recently married mother who came to a ladies meet up brunch to meet new friends. Perhaps they live in a parallel world and are never to meet.

In that time, none of the single ladies I have met have started dating someone that became their boyfriend. Not the crazy ones or the intelligent ones. And yet I have met quite a few men, dated the odd one or 2 and I’ve been seeing one for a few weeks.

It’s not that I have low standards, quite the opposite as I’m probably the only woman in New York not looking to settle into a relationship. I don’t see the need to date just for the sake of it but I just happened to have met people whom I enjoyed the company of.

One can only assume women in New York are looking for perfection. Not just to marry or have a long term relationship with but even just to say yes to a date. A single friend of mine put it down to the current ‘Me’ generation.

It seems to me that I can split New York ladies into two categories: Serial Daters and Non Daters.

Serial daters are desperate to find ‘the one’ but are they? If they were, would they not concentrate on one person at a time and give the relationship a chance to blossom?

I don’t think they know who ‘the one’ is. They don’t seem to have a wish list of what they want in a man, at least they don’t tell me but they sure come up with a lot of faults after 2-3 dates.

I’ve never heard one say they like someone but the feeling is not mutual, Un-requited love, or lust, must have happened to most of us at least once in a lifetime.

Don’t people have crushes any more?!

Mostly I find it strange when a New York woman professes her fondness for a man but continues to date other people. There are only 7 days in a week. Who has that kind of time?

If serial daters are not happy by themselves, then what have they got to offer someone else?

Are ‘desperate’ and ‘unhappy’ really qualities that will attract?

Who is going to tell them?

Non daters, on the other hand are tired of the dating scene which is especially of concern if they are under 30 when surely they should be out there having fun rather than thinking of settling down.

Some over 40 seem pretty keen to want to date and settle down but don’t seem to ever go on dates. With all these single men everywhere, how is that possible?

Furthermore, I’ve always thought that if a woman needs a man to make her happy, it means they are unhappy single. Why would anyone want an unhappy girlfriend who is so dependant on them for their happiness?

Surely men would prefer a little less dependence?

Published on Dating New York Style

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