This is one of my favourite stories so unless someone I’m unable to abide is on the screen, I’ll always watch. In this case, I don’t know anyone on the screen, except Mr Bloom, although I recognise some faces. I’m pretty sure I saw Jonathan Ross’ face on one of the posters. The movie is that comical, it wouldn’t have surprised me if they’d cast Wossy.
So taking away from the fact that this bares little resemblance to historical facts – after all they have air ships doing battle in the skies and over usage of guns rather than just the traditional swords – this is fresh take on the children’s classic. The Musketeers are now at a loose end, with no cause to fight for, so are looking for action.
Its 105 minutes of escapism if you can bare the annoying use of slow motion in the fight scenes and the predictable script; I feel like I’ve heard it all before and then realise they are pillaging lines from films left right and centre.
Its The Musketeers meets Pirates, if you like that sort of thing.
I mainly saw this because it was on at 3.15, a near perfect time for me as far as going to the cinema is concerned and it didn’t have anyone in it that I don’t enjoy watching. Not because I’m a fan of war films in particular.
Two striking story lines about this film:
·The lead character has (approximately) nine lives
·He survives several armies
Everyone who ever attacked poor Poland, inconveniently situated on the route to the much sought after Germany, are featured; Red Army, Bolsheviks and I think another one. One put him to work and another helped him escape. The other unfortunately, he did have to fight.
The underlying love story – there has to be one – is a little inevitable but I’d have been distraught if the newly we couple hadn’t found each other again. (not really a spoiler)
That said, it must be a decent film as I didn’t reach for the cinema sweets – dolly mixtures, as you ask – although that may have something to do with the ¾ of Peyton & Byrne Coconut & Raspberry cake that I scoffed with a mug of coffee before I went in.
I’m not a huge fan of either Harrison Ford or Daniel Craig or of alien movies so it’s just the ‘Cowboy’ that got me into see this. That and the absolute silliness I expect.
I’m pretty sure I don’t need to explain the plot; it starts promisingly with the sparks about to fly superbly between the Ford and Craig characters (disappointedly, neither plays an alien) but they pretty soon are fighting on the same side, to save the world from the aliens of course.
Which brings me on to the main criticism, the aliens? Firstly because they are so obvious and secondly they are bought in too early. I would have thought leaving their guise to our imagination for the best part of the film would have made up for the lack of expected Ford/Craig banter.
I do like a good western though and I just kept seeing my all time fave, Young Guns 11 through this. Wouldn’t it have been great if it was the original Young Guns cast – now all grown up – fighting against the aliens?
The film is worth seeing though just because it’s so utterly daft.
Yes I love apes and anything belonging to the Ape family but having watched the TV series as a wide-eyed youngster, the Tim Burton re-make of the 1960s film didn’t entice me into the cinema.
When I was in single digits, a human talking from inside an ape costume was still impressive but now, I expect more and quite frankly, I expect film makers to have actually taught apes to talk. With this the apparent prequel, what happens in the setting of modern day San Francisco is our leading ape, Caesar is taught sign language.
The story is of a well-meaning scientist, Will Rodman (James Franco) experimenting on apes to find a way of healing brain disorders in humans. He has a particular interest in this project as his own father is wasting away with Alzheimer’s but before he can get the medication to him, the apes cause havoc in the lab and the project is pulled and the apes put down. All but one, the newborn, Caesar.
Caesar is taken home partly for his own safety and Rodman continues his work to positive results until one day Caesar is taught about his past and eventually, wanting to go outside, causes havoc protecting Rodman senior (John Lithgow). He is taken to a sanctuary AKA ape prison and for the first time realises where he comes from and [edits out 218 unnecessary words] hence the eventual uprising.
I so want to live in a world where apes live in our homes, come to coffee shops, play football etc etc. I really don’t understand why this isn’t so.
Forgot to put this on my Birthday list this year. Not that I desperately need it, I don’t cook and I don’t watch films on DVD, but it’s one of my favourite movies of recent years.
The story line did not have a bearing in my decision to watch this film.
This is what did;
Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis.
Rourke is a bonus.
When I unintentionally see the trailer, I realise what I thought would be a throwaway film full of one liners and in-jokes is in fact a fairly serious action film
The basic story is that Sly Stallone leads a group of what appear to be mainly ex-army men who hire themselves out for various jobs. This time, they are hired by – let’s call him, Mr Church, to depose an army general of faraway land.
Stallone goes with his right man, played by Jason Statham in his usual role to check out the job and inevitably go back to do the job. Many many many people die, there are tons of explosions, a few car crashes and all the expected action scenes but spectacularly shot.
What I love is that none of the usual bad cliques are in the film, but all the good ones are. Of course the best moment is the 60 seconds that the mighty Schwarzenegger, Willis & Stallone are in the same scene. It’s completely thrilling and all I want from the film.
Of course it would be great if there were more scenes like this and I’m surprised there isn’t a bigger role for Willis seeing as he’s still an action actor.
Mickey Rourke does have a larger part although not in action mode, more in Mickey Rourke mode. Now in retirement, he’s a tattooist and a central point for the guys to meet and add to their body collection. I’m really pleased he’s in the film and Terry Crews is a fantastic addition to the action gang.
I’ve never been a fan and I’m stunned that Stallone is a talented film maker. This is how all action movies should be made.
Sequel? I hope so perhaps next time with larger roles for the action movie trio.
I should have known better as these are two of my least favourite actors although Tom Cruse redeemed himself by being in one of all time favourites, The Last Samurai, Cameron Diaz never has.
Leonardo’s latest is no different to his other blockbusters. Except, actually it is. They are all unusual and mysterious tackling a subject in a new way although ‘they‘ have likened this to the Matrix; films I never got into and wondered for a long time why there were references each time someone saw me in my almost floor length leather coat.
20 minutes into the film, despite my determined stance, I give up trying to follow it but resign myself to enjoy the special effects.
The story – if you can find one – is that we now have the technology to not only extract dreams from people but implant them. Whilst they’re dreaming, DiCaprio’s team are able to manipulate people to do what they want. The twist is that his wife has died and he has committed a crime preventing him from going back to America to be with his young children. Instead he implants dreams about his family which cannot create a healthy existence.
He is offered a chance to redeem his American status by a criminal, who I recognised is played by the excellent Ken Watanabe (The Last Samurai). He just needs to do this one complicated job for which he enlists the help of a student (Ellen Page) as recommended by his professor father (Michael Caine).
I agree that teeny Ellen Page (Juno) does look 12 years old at most so an enthusiastic geeky nerd (is that the same thing?) is the best we can see her as. She helps set up the plan where they are going to be in a dream, within a dream, within yet another dream. I think.
None of this is futuristic; the roads bending, buildings curving and gravity changing at will is all in the here and now and yet there is scant mention that what they are doing is illegal.
I suggest you just enjoy the long 2½ hour ride. 7½/10 Smile factor 8½/10
We all know there a dozens of these types of epic adventure films so let’s cut straight to the story.
Orphan boy get’s noticed by the King, in the days where the king just roamed the streets with little more than a couple of staff and didn’t feel the need for millions of pounds worth of security to follow. Boy gets adopted and therefore becomes a prince, in all but royal blood.
As an adult, he goes into battle to secure another land only to realise something is amiss and there is no reason to invade. Alas there are no weapons of mass destruction, so to speak.
Instead, the Prince of Persia, Daston (Jake Gyllenhaal), discovers a mystical dagger which contains magical sand and therefore can turn back time. Obviously.
But all in all it’s a good old fashioned epic, although actually only 116 minutes long. The twist is the King is murdered and Daston is the prime suspect, having been set-up, but by who? In the meantime he and the beautiful princess, as is de rigueur in these flicks, set up about keeping the dagger from the wrong evil hands whilst proving his innocence.
Ben Kingsley, of the category ‘Doesn’t Put His Name To A Bad Film’ category also stars, alas as a baddie.
An inoffensive movie to escape to and under 2 hours.
It appears I’m one of the few people that haven’t seen the original but it does mean I have nothing to compare this Karate Kid with.
I’m seeing it now purely for the cute-as-a-`button Jaden Smith, of the brilliant In Pursuit of Happiness fame (oh and son of Will).
The boy did good and the cuteness hits the viewer immediately and refuses to go away. I try really hard to get out of my mind that this youngster went back to school after shooting this and his ‘what I did in the summer’ report would have said I shot a martial arts movie with Jackie Chan.
Having said that, this is as far away as you can get from a Jackie Chan flick as he takes a definite back seat to young Jaden and indeed to quite a few of the young cast.
You may already know that this is the story of a mother taking her son away from America, topically from the broken car industry in Detroit into a new life and job in China. The boy is not best pleased but less so when he immediately starts getting bullied at school. Not by any old bullies, but by the local bad boy ‘karate kids’. Of course the only way to get even and hold his own is to learn the craft which is where building maintenance man Mr Han (Jackie Chan) steps in.
There are some made for 12 year old movie moments like the overwhelming dramatic music when they reach the top of the mountain, martial arts practising Mecca. There was the over dramaticism when the karate kid, Dre (Oh yes, bring it up to date) finds out why his teacher lives in virtual solitude and what happened to his family.
I couldn’t help but wonder why the skinny little Dre didn’t just topple over when pushed, never mind how he survived a severe beating in the heavy hands of the bullies.
Whilst a lovely, sweet and emotional scene, I’m uncertain why the father of the teenage love interest felt he had to let her honour her promise to be at the Karate Kid tournament and yet made her dissect their friendship a few scenes earlier.
Young Mr Smith did terrifically well as he’s in just about every scene and has the charm, comic timing and promise of helping to build another American acting dynasty.
Clearly it’s farfetched that the skinny boy goes to a new school in a foreign country (where incidentally every one conveniently speaks English) and has to learn a martial art in record quick time in order to stand up to the school bully. Surely he could have just moved school?
Go see it if you know any 12 year olds and if you want your heart strings tugged with a smile upon your face. 7½/10 Smile factor 9/10
I am beside myself with excitement to have the action hero trio Bruce Willis, Sylvester Stallone and Arnold Schwarzenegger together. Yes really! I never thought I’d see the day for the Guvernator to be back in films
So yes I’m excited but:
1 Where’s the all time action hero, Steven Seagal. I mean that’s the only type of film he has made; he’s been loyal to the genre. Is he too busy being a real cop? Is that for real?
2 Jean Claude Van Damme. He’d have some moves to share but we have Jet Li instead.
3 For some reason we have Jason Statham. He’s a gangster, not an action hero. Wrong genre.
Mickey Rourke was never an action hero, but after one of the best films of recent years, The Wrestler, we’ll allow him into every film he wants, even Iron Man 2.
The action heroes that are appearing include: Willis, Stallone, Schwarzenegger, Lundgren, Jet Li plus Statham and Terry Crews (of Everybody Hates Chris, amongst other good things).
I’m looking forward to seeing The Expendables. I have no care what the story is about or indeed if there is a story. I’m sold.
I looked back to see how I rated the first Iron Man and I don’t have a review. I know that I really enjoyed it so I guess I must have just been super busy at the time.
I remember it was a surprise hit for me; it’s a super-hero movie without world saving superheroes. Instead, Iron Man is all about the technology, i.e. the power of his suit whereas last time the story was about how Iron Man AKA Tony Stark played by Robert Downey Jr, saves the earth by building better defence for the western world that its enemies could only dream off, this time, it’s the enemies catch up.
Whilst I agree with the majority in that Robert Downy Jr is brilliant and always worth a watch, I do get the feeling that he is really playing himself in this. He has perfected a style of acting with both Iron Man and Sherlock Holmes that is not dissimilar.
I was a little apprehensive this time round that it may all be hype but two facts made me still look forward to IM2; the AC/DC soundtrack and Mickey ‘The Wrestler’ Rourke. All in all, I’d hype this package.
I was a little late and I missed the opening seconds so AC/DC’s head nodding, foot stompingly brilliant ‘Highway to Hell’ was greeting me as I opened the door and my heart was already racing by the time I was seated.
I immediately decided I was going to have to come again, if only to see those opening moments but unless I missed something – another reason to see again – I didn’t hear anymore AC/DC until I heard what I thought was the same track again at the end, despite me lingering long after most had departed the cinema.
So other than RDJ and AC/DC, that leaves Mickey Rourke who made me watch The Wrestler twice at the cinema, making it the second best film of 2008, just after the immensely powerful ‘Milk’ with the ever talented Sean Penn. So now that I’ve mentioned three must see actors in one paragraph, back to Mickey Rourke in Iron Man 2.
It’s a good job that I had heard he played a Russian baddy otherwise the accent, when he got round to speaking would have been a shock. Maybe because we don’t expect him to do accents but I think it was fine. However, it was his acting rather than speaking capability that made his presence so over powering in a particular scene in the first half.
I cannot recall the last time I saw such a breath taking moment in a film. So mesmerising was his badness’ real entrance into this film. It quite literally took my breath away to the point of making a note to take my inhaler with me next time. Not normally necessary in a cinema or any other regular event.
His character would have been made for Arnold Schwarzenegger if a) he was not the California Governator and b) if he could make a film without having top billing. Mickey Rourkes’ baddie didn’t need to have many words – in fact they gave him a few too many – but he looked awesomely menacing and absolutely fearless. Now that’s acting.
The film is worth seeing just for that as a lot of the rest of it seems to be a Iron Man ego trip for the powerful Mr Stark although with another great performance from Gwyneth Paltrow as the long suffering Assistant.
7½/10 Would easily have been an 8½ if Mickey Rourke’s badass Russian was allowed to have more onscreen presence. Smile Factor 8½/10
A nothing-else-to-see movie day moment results in me seeing this throwaway escapist film. In fact I would have forgotten all about it if I was wasn’t writing this. That doesn’t make it rubbish, simply a throwaway escapist film which takes you to another, sillier place for an hour or so.
Yes Jackie Chan works for the government as is often the case but this time he plays a spy seconded to the CIA. With just one mission to go before retirement, he fails to tell his new girlfriend, a single mother next door, of his real job so the family think he is a much more dreary pen maker. Although I’m pretty sure it defeats the purpose if you tell all and sundry you are in fact an undercover spy but this is family film so anything is possible.
To prove his paternal capability to his potential bride, he offers to look after her three hapless, impish children whilst she goes on a trip and all sort of mayhem is guaranteed after one of them downloads something that belongs to the bad guys. Cue many martial arts moves.
Remember to wait for the trademark outtakes with the credits to continue the hilarity. 7/10
Smile factor 8½/10
